Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

The beautiful game and stuff....

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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby agentesecreto on 17 Nov 2008, 12:32

Based on the company you keep, I am just stating the obvious. You will be remembered for your support of Falk Dunkinini.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 17 Nov 2008, 12:53

BAH -- you still didn't tell me what circle you fell in. :roll:
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Falc on 17 Nov 2008, 13:15

I was doing pretty good until they started with the series of questions concerning my association with Palo. Damn, almost sent me to hell.

Bineaz, looks like you and I will be meeting Palo in purgatory (although at the rate he is going, he made not make it that far).

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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby agentesecreto on 18 Nov 2008, 00:35

I am still pondering the whole concept of Hell. If I may speak honestly, I am going through a tough time in the area of faith. I know that it's part of the whole thing but I am very disappointed at how Catholic hospitals are run in this country. It makies me sick. Also, I am disappointed at the politicking that goes within the Church. Only knwing that others such as Mother Teresa and even JPII struggled with their faith helps me keep going. It was also disappointing to see how the Knights of Columbus got behind Proposition 8. Isn't there a more pressing issue in today's life that warrants more time and effort than to oppose the marriage of a few from a population that has endured so much hate? Looks at Pabs, being gay is not easy.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Falc on 18 Nov 2008, 00:59

What problems are you having with Catholic hospitals out there? Around here, they are the better run hospitals. As for politics within the Church, they did a lousy job this election. Their hands are tied by the laws somewhat but they could have done better. As for Prop 8, that was a big issue during the election and the Knights did right. So did blacks and Hispanics in your state. The fundamental of marriage is that it is between a man and a woman. One man and one woman. Government needs to get out of marriage anyway. There is no need for the government to sanction marriage.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby agentesecreto on 18 Nov 2008, 01:15

The Church needs to get out of Civil marriage. Marriage is a civil issue. Catholic Health West in Arizona, thier flagship hospital regualrly repatriates Mexican and other nationals who are in need of non-emergent medical services. Their administration is flooded by Sisters of Charity. Charity my ass.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 18 Nov 2008, 05:43

"The Church needs to get out of Civil marriage"

In Sweden you can have a civil marriage which the church doesn't really have nothing to say about (other than the term as such be reserved for couples of opposite sex while you may have another term but with the same legal implications). One may as well ask why do gays demand to be married in church?

On the test, I fell within the 6th circle..the heretics but I must say there are a couple of questions I found rather contradictive.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 18 Nov 2008, 05:52

Examples:

Q: Have you ever intentionally given bad advice? (Does sarcastic flip offs count?)

Q: Could you picture yourself assassinating someone or ordering an assassination on someone if it meant that you would become very rich and powerful? (What about picturing oneself doing it for other reasons?)

Q: People are poor because they deserve to be, and should be given no help. (What if you think that the best way to help is to give no help and not necessarily because "they deserve to be"?)

Q: Can you see yourself engaging in treason against your country? (I could imagine myself engaging into something I might think is either good for my country or not damaging but due to regulations and misconceptions elsewhere may be described as "treason" in the penal codes).
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Falc on 18 Nov 2008, 10:57

There is no need for civil marriage. Government has no business regulating relationships. And it has no business regulating religious ceremonies. Did I need a government license to be baptized? Did I need a government license when I was confirmed? So why the need for marriage? Marriage benefits are discriminatory. Do away with them.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 18 Nov 2008, 12:30

The Church and state have different functions. The state should sanction all civil unions for purposes of partnership benefits (e.g., health insurance, estates). Marriage should occur in church or granted by a religious entity. Call traditional, church-sanctioned marriage, “marriage,” and the state sanctioned acts “civil unions;” for everyone. It's semantics.

I’m not for discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation but I also don’t like having an agenda pushed by people with an arrogant sense of entitlement.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Falc on 18 Nov 2008, 13:26

Partnership benefits are discriminatory and nothing more than social engineering. Benefits should be contracted. The law already allows for the passing of one's estate. Single people get screwed and it needs to end.

Anyway, I know some people think marriage is a joke but this discussion is getting very off topic for this thread. Let's continue at the general chat or even politics in general thread if need be.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby agentesecreto on 18 Nov 2008, 23:17

There are many Federal rights or privileges that are not granted to civil unions. Read your 1040 next time you get a chance. I trust that the Jesus that I worship would not be caught up in something this petty or he would simply deal with them with some Godly Judo. Either way, you cannot be intolerant in the name of love.

May I suggest you catch up on a bit of theology. That said, the high holidays are up on us. Next Sunday marks Chrsit The King, a day of solemnity. Soon the Feast of the IMmaculate will be upon us but we cannot forget that Advent is right around the corner.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 19 Nov 2008, 07:05

agentesecreto wrote: I trust that the Jesus that I worship would not be caught up in something this petty or he would simply deal with them with some Godly Judo. Either way, you cannot be intolerant in the name of love.


That is a rather arrogant view, I would think the couple who have lived and cared for eachother for some time doesn't think it's "petty matters" at all should something happen to one of them and that person's family would like to take control over things in a way the two had not expected and nor agreed upon.

Falc,

don't see the argument you're making, partnership, just as marriage is a form of a contract but more of a "presumtion package style" than registering several ones for every single issue (partership and marriage ever so often have people contract themselves to exemptions from the general rules).
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 02 Dec 2008, 13:28

Here’s a video (1:31) showing Greek league action and perhaps the dumbest red card ever given:
http://tv.repubblica.it/copertina/sgamb ... 6891?video
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 02 Dec 2008, 18:38

Lemon turkey recipe

Ingredients:
1 whole Turkey (weight is dependant on how many servings are required)
1 large lemon, cut into halves, sprig of rosemary
Salt and pepper to taste
Butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
Heat oven to 350 degrees
Rub butter or oil over the skin of the turkey until it is completely coated
Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat. Slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up. This way the juice from the lemon will coat the breast.
Season skin of the turkey to your preference, and place sprig of rosemary into it.
Cover and place in oven for 30-45 minutes.
Remove cover and continue to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes depending on the size of the bird.

If you've followed these steps correctly, your turkey should look like the one in the attached photo.

Bon Appetit!
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 02 Dec 2008, 19:43

WTF ???

That's HORRIBLE officiating. That play has nothing to do with the game. It's not like the player did that to an opponent during a stoppage in play. I hope this official gets suspended and the player has the suspension that follows his red card recined. Absolutely outrageous.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 03 Dec 2008, 06:33

Well bineaz, if you allow me to be a bit snarky...what would you expect? It was the greek league.

Sort of like when the hunt for terrorism started and a deeper meaning to why Rumsflet may have sneered towards Condi Rice when asking "What is NSA?!?"

Saw an interview with this guy recently and it was rather peculiar (and quite gutsy i must admit) when he in a conversation with Roldo Aguileras daughter told her that he is not sure that the aviation crash that took her parents lives was an accident because her father (who was president of Ecuador) who he had negotiating with had not been very willing to obtain huge loans for the sake of offering concessions to american comapnies (couldn't that be labeled as "terrosrism"?).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0JCJ4pIFEw

http://www.adlibris.com/se/product.aspx?isbn=0091909104
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 03 Dec 2008, 10:09

Greek League is better than the Swedish League.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 03 Dec 2008, 10:14

<yawn> Another non sequitor (I don't bother to pay much attention to any but granted a true brain fart is likely more to occur with people from a medterranian country than a scandinavian)
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 03 Dec 2008, 12:10

lillie wrote:<yawn> Another non sequitor (I don't bother to pay much attention to any but granted a true brain fart is likely more to occur with people from a medterranian country than a scandinavian)


:roll:
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Falc on 03 Dec 2008, 14:15

This one is for Bineaz .....

The school nurse took one look at the emergency card filled out by a student's mother and knew she had to give the woman a call.

"It says here that your son's allergic to Sicilians," she said.

"He is," replied the mother.

"How could that be?" said the nurse.

"He's allergic to all of the Sicilians. You know, penicillin, amoxicillin..."
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 03 Dec 2008, 14:35

Hey if it wasn't for us Sicilians, we'd still be fighting polio....
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 03 Dec 2008, 18:34

lillie wrote:<yawn> Another non sequitor (I don't bother to pay much attention to any but granted a true brain fart is likely more to occur with people from a medterranian country than a scandinavian)


lol. Sure ho. Go fuck another Paki or black. I hear brain fartless Scandinavians spread their legs to them quite easily.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 08 Dec 2008, 06:31

Don't judge all swedish women based upon images on Silvstedt with a midget grown italian businessman whose face just reaches her crotch...she recently said in a otne seemingly to praise herself that she doesn't pour out her private life in public...I suppose those photos of her in intimate situations with overweight old men are all work <smirk>.

Go and help by nigger up your ass to another buddy of your to jail. just because your mom worked at a brothel it doesn't translate to thatyou have squat to say about anyone elses choices of what when or who they fuck (but what else to expect from an individual whose best part slided down as something bloody and brown down his mom Ciccolina's legs?).
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 08 Dec 2008, 09:21

Far too often reason becomes the domisticated serf of purpose.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 08 Dec 2008, 22:12

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/crime/la-me-swedish26-2008nov26,0,6890606.story

Excerpt: A Swedish hip-hop artist who boasted of working with Ashley Tisdale, Heidi Montag and other American performers is facing assault and battery charges stemming from a violent confrontation in a Hollywood crosswalk that left a musician dead and bystanders horrified.

David Moses Jassy, 34, also known as Dave Monopoly, is scheduled to be arraigned this morning in Superior Court in what authorities described as a stunning episode of road rage involving a motorist and pedestrian.

Image

I don't know what's more laughable. That there is such a thing as Swedish Hip Hop or that dumbass Swedes give out citizenship to people a few generations removed from swinging from tree's.

Yep, Swede women are whores.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 08 Dec 2008, 22:14

Looks like Henrik Larsson -- he be a baby mama

Swedish women = African sperm depositories. And they like it too.

We's luv beeing sluts, yo.

lol @ Dave Monopoly -- yo yo yo :wink: :wink:
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 09 Dec 2008, 05:46

Well, when Madonna moved to UK she stated that she aimed to strive to become more english. Now she's a single mom with three kids with different fathers (one black with HIV as well). One must admit those italian americans are ambitious and result oriented.

And apropos the shareholder's rage about the so-called Carnegie affair...haven't they heard about offensive recruitment? The state had a position as Reichs Moron vacant and figured someone like Carnegie's CEO would be a perfect fit.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 09 Dec 2008, 05:53

Do they have like appointed pussy guards in Canada? Seemingly since it's something that ocuppies your mind alot? I feel sorry for you, can't think of much less interesting than keeping track of which people who fucks who and how. And no, I think some of Madonna's music is ok but have no interest in her sexlife.

But you seem somewhat misinformed...there should be some photo of me with a blond guy dressed a bit like a nazi taken some years ago...but he's a nice jewish guy (someone like you haven't the qualifications to exmine that). So rest assured that I'm not the slightest interested in any short stumpy italian who runs around and licks at everything.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 09 Dec 2008, 06:40

I must though admit that I raised my eyebrow towards seeing that EU has made Italy and Greece main responsibility for the forces in eastern Kongo. Haven't these countries a bit of stuff on the plates at home already they could need to adress (but seeing they're main reciepents of subsides it's not more than fair though)?
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby lillie on 09 Dec 2008, 06:56

Dave Monopoly?!?!?

Ummm...it's no secret that some "hot beauties" get paid to be at parties with Moammar Khadaffis son and such but most of them are americans (Carmen Electra have been at some but not Silvstedt). Wasn't Carmen Electra engaged to Dave Navarro?
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 09 Dec 2008, 18:42

Madonna, Reichs, Carnegie CEO, Nazi, Nice Jewish Guys, EU, Eastern Kongo, Carmen Electra

you sure are covering a whole bunch of topics, aren't you lillie ? WTF ?????

lillie, I am BEGGING you to seek treatment for your addiction. And stop spreading your legs to negro's like your country women.

And please. Enough with the short crap. Save it for mate. I'm 6 ft tall. Hardly a giant but far from being short.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby agentesecreto on 13 Dec 2008, 02:34

“Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.”
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Pabs on 13 Dec 2008, 18:39

4 1/2 minutes for that ?

why bother ?
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 15 Dec 2008, 12:24

why bother ?

Women, pabs, women.
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 15 Dec 2008, 14:18

Women. This is what men really want:
Image
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby agentesecreto on 16 Dec 2008, 00:24

You cantell from Pab's response that he's gay. Any staright man fear the Doghouse!!
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 08 Jan 2009, 15:13

Warning: Don't try this at home.

Skier's mishap causes exposure

A skier was left suffering from two kinds of exposure following an embarrassing mishap at a Colorado ski resort.

The man, who to his undoubted relief has not been identified, was left hanging upside down from a ski lift with his trousers around his knees.

He had boarded the high speed lift in Vail's Blue Sky basin with a child but, unfortunately for him, the fold-down seat was not in the correct lowered-down position.

That caused the skier to slip through the resulting gap as he attempted to board the lift. He was prevented from plummeting to the ground below by his right ski, which became jammed in the ascending lift.

With his boot remaining securely in its binding, his pants appeared to have also been caught in the lift as he fell - leaving him utterly exposed.

Tourists in the crowded ski resort promptly whipped out their cameras. He was stuck in the undignified position for about 15 minutes before Vail personnel were able to back the lift up and rescue him.

Image
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3150931.html?menu=
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby bineaz on 08 Jan 2009, 15:18

This isn't funny (for Ferrari lovers) but:

Christiano Ronaldo totals a 599 GTB Fiorano Ferrari

http://www.repubblica.it/2006/05/galler ... ari/1.html
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Re: Jokes & Other Funny Stuff

Postby Falc on 08 Jan 2009, 15:54

Bineaz - That is some crack reporting you posted for us. Yet, no mention if he was injured, frost-bitten, etc. Are you sure the article did not leave anything behind?
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